Divorce is never easy, and you can expect ups and downs in even the friendliest divorces. If you are divorcing a narcissist, however, you should buckle up and expect him or her to make things as difficult as possible. This is a reality of divorcing a narcissist, but fortunately, there are some important steps you can take to help you cut ties with your narcissistic ex post-divorce. And if you’re facing divorce with a narcissist, it’s time to consult with an experienced Fort Worth, Texas, divorce attorney.
Setting Your Boundaries
Obtaining a divorce from a narcissist generally feels like a hard-won battle, and getting to the other side is a relief. Narcissists, however, enjoy keeping drama at a fever pitch (even when it is to their disadvantage). Nevertheless, once your divorce is finalized, you have court orders that are verifiable and enforceable. The most important first step you can take in cutting ties with your ex is setting firm boundaries that align perfectly with your divorce decree and sticking to them.
Less Is More
When it comes to your ex, less really is more. You’re divorced now and will likely only need to be in contact regarding your shared children – and you have child conservatorship (also known as custody) arrangements that address this. Your actions, words, and attitude should all let your children’s other parent know that you are focused on following the set arrangements that are in place exactly, and you should make doing so your policy. Because life is unpredictable – especially when it comes to raising children – you’ll obviously need to build some flexibility into your stance, but making this the exception rather than the rule is well-advised.
Your Communications
Narcissists are experts at finagling their way back into peoples’ lives, and your ex is not likely to be an exception. The fact is that, because you and your ex-spouse share children, you’re going to need to communicate (and probably fairly consistently). All of the following tips can help you maintain your boundaries while continuing to effectively co-parent:
- Communicate with your ex via text or email whenever possible
- Keep your texts as informative, unambiguous, and neutral in tone as you possibly can
- If the situation requires a phone call, maintain your composure and stick to the facts while maintaining as neutral a tone as possible
- Do not communicate with your ex via your children, as you do not want to put them in the middle
- If your ex does not adhere to your divorce terms as they relate to your children, turn to your divorce attorney for guidance
Fanning the flames of a narcissist will only set you back, but by moving forward with focus and purpose, you’ll be better prepared to cut the ties that bind you to your narcissistic ex.
An Experienced Fort Worth Divorce Attorney Is Standing by to Help
The formidable Fort Worth divorce attorneys at The Law Office of J. Kevin Clark understand the serious nature of your situation and are committed to employing their skill and legal insight to help you move forward toward your best post-divorce future. For more information, please don’t wait to contact us online or call us at 817-DIVORCE today.